Friday, March 28, 2008

'my best friend leslie said...'

Is it entirely shameful that I've been listening to a Miley Cyrus song on repeat for the past hour? I'm well aware of the fact that the girl can't sing, dress, or dance, and that the album is actually called Hannah Montana...but for some reason I feel that this guilty pleasure is much more justified than, say, a cd called 'Welcome to the Dollhouse.' Or that day I danced around to 'bye bye bye' for three hours. I mean.

In other news I impressed someone at a decently prestigious publication today. Granted, the last person who impressed said person is a reality tv superstar/la pseudo socialite on 14:57 of her 15 minutes of fame so I'm not entirely sure what exactly it takes to impress.

I'm thinking it's my impeccable taste in music. Hello 3 more hours of pre-teen pop.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

ohhh eight

Tonight I:

1. Applied for over 40 internships. yes.
2. Decided to go to San Francisco for the weekend on a whim.
3. Got hit on by a man who goes by Rampage, is apparently worth a few million and is the current ufc light heavyweight champion. Oxymoron if I've ever heard one.
4. Watched Bridget Jones. Twice.

Monday, March 17, 2008


How to survive Finals Week*
a brief overview, brought to you by a semi successful bruin.

After 8 quarters, 187 units, 23 final exams, and 2.7 gallons of redbull I can finally call myself a senior at this pseudo prestigious, not at all pretentious, classy and fabulous school known as UCLA. (fill in the abbreviation as you'd like, or say oooooklah. it's more fun that way.) In any case, I present to you 12 steps on surviving the hell that is the eleventh hour of the quarter. Enjoy.

1. Admit that you have a problem. No really. You did not attend too many lectures, nor did you keep up with your reading and you have a comprehensive history exam in roughly twenty four hours. That, my friend, is called a problem.

2. Learn how to multi-task. Reading your history textbook while driving; probably not the best option. Reading your history book while glancing at slides to keep your focus, extremely efficient. Go you, you rockstar.

3. Compile a list of study music. Mine consists of the entire DCFC Transatlanticism album as well as bits of Chilli Peppers and emo flares of dashboard on a playlist called 'zone.' It's supposed to get me in the zone---and no, not in the Britney Spears Sense of the phrase.

4. Bake cupcakes.
a. feed into your ocd
b. keep your mind off the material for the thirty minutes it takes to festively frost (lucky charms!) the glorified muffins of your dreams.
c. provide a fun, energizing study snack! I'd say healthy as well, but funfetti is only good for the soul...and when was the last time soul food didn't lead to premature heart attacks?

5. Invite friends over to stay who are already on spring break to remind you that in a few days you too will bask in that same glory. These two make for an interesting pair.

6. Shop for no reason. Like I said there's no reason.

7. Facebook stalk people you went to highschool with who you're no longer in contact with at all. It's always nice to know that superiority complex you had panned out in the long run.

8. Evaluate your itunes playlist. Do you really have a song called 'yeloomooni,' four variations of 'hands down' and the entirety of Tupac's Greatest Hits on your computer?** If the answer is yes reflect back on a time when you were on an unheard of amount of illegal substances.

9. Check everyones aim away messages. Obsessively. You do it anyway, you creep.

10. Stare at your bed longingly. You used to remember how amazing that pink cloud felt when you slept for +14 hours.

11. Update that blog you started for what reason again? Oh right, Fluffy told you to.

12. Look for an adventure. Mine consisted of driving to campus, picking up a stray who I knew a million years ago, cursing those who partake in the midnight yell*** and giving the drive through man at in n out a handful of yellow starbursts. I hate yellow starbursts.

happy studying, kids:)

*Also known as success week, a la Winter Quarter 2006.
**Some people might also question the complete Aladdin Soundtrack, however I consider that an amazing musical addition.
***A close second to Undie Run in the 'Most Useless Campus Tradition' lineup.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

la la la

Lalalalala. 3AM. Not tired. No desire to do work. Still planning on waking up at 9AM. Getting McDonalds breakfast. Calling it a glorious day.

Am currently watching Sex and the City. Carrie Bradshaw is the most amazing fake icon ever, with the exception of Princess Jasmine. She's encouraged me to rent 'The Way We Were.' Will make good use of my 50% off Hollywood Video membership and get it tomorrow, as well as another Desperate Housewives dvd.

Also. Need to stop writing in telegraph. Time to focus all attention on CB.

Monday, March 10, 2008

[blank] at first sight.

Weekly lust items:
Tory Burch Tory Charm Bracelet and Christian Louboutin Mini Bout Pumps.

Total cost of imaginary shopping spree: $1025. Enough for 20 pairs of 'normal' shoes, a brand new macbook, the amount of makeup to make even the most unfortunate look presentable and, well, more money than I make in a year. But damn would it be worth it.

Saturday, March 8, 2008


I need a new picture taking face. ASAP. Case in point, in the past few months I've managed to take a series of pictures where I end up looking somewhere along the lines of:

Attractive. I'm well aware. I generally leave my apartment and find an item of clothing that is not mine and did not leave the house wearing (ie the hats, sunglasses, etc.) ---which generally leads to me looking extremely bewildered and confused. Hence, the 'muss face.'

I've realized in retrospect that I've been trying to imitate this man:

Well, y'know, with the addition of skin and. ligaments. But the whole wide eyed, dazed. Wondering how exactly my life ended up where it is. Probably not my best photo role model and icon to live by.

In the future I'll try to emulate:

I've always loved the sparkle in her eyes. And I want a pet monkey.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

do you believe in.

The boyfriend has taken to calling California a magical place, which I object to for many reasons. Mainly because when I think of a magical place I think:

oooh! the colors!

Or, more recently:

Which is apparently becoming everyones favorite commercial.

However, I stand by the classic:

Nothing will ever beat being chased by an angry chicken.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

midterms during ninth week are officially not allowed.

In one last ditch effort to avoid my piles of globalization notes I present to you:

Last Week vs. This Week.


Figure 1: 'best week ever' of nonstop raging including:

1.1 jetset weekend to new york.
1.2 blackout tuesday where everybody knows your name
1.3 dwayne wayde nba party where i wore satin hot pink stripper shoes.
1.4 being dragged back to aforementioned bar by my pet mex and telling the bouncer he had to let me cut the line because our names rhymed. they actually don't.
1.5 what happens when you wander the apartments at UCLA.

Figure 2: coming off the high.

2.1 who i have become this past week. unnecessary obsession and binge eating included.
2.2 a place where i have been everyday this past week. and had awkward drive through encounters.
2.3 sustenance.
2.4 where i enjoy my sustenance.
2.5 grounds for flamboyant wizard angst corner of doom.

...the good life.

The problem is I haven't tapped into my snark gene in a while. Apparently it will be good for me, granted the last time I had access to this part of my brain I was college cool in high school which was grounds for a lot more angst than you can ever expect.


As per the request/demand of the bff (who apparently needs a nickname as she plans on calling me the pineapple cupcake queen. I think I'll call her fluffy.) Anyway. Fluffy's request plus me not having shit to do (except studying for that thing called a midterm tomorrow. oops.) has resulted in the creation of yet another outlet for my unresolved childhood issues. The perils of a young fashionista couldn't be more fitting as I live in a city dominated by looks, charm, and swagger. And I definitely believe in shoes and cars. It could be worse, I could be 95-pound, doe eyed, bon-mot tossing, label-whoring package of girly evil. If anyone gets both of those pop culture references you win at life more than I do, and I'm pretty fucking legit.

In any case, the most exciting part of my day included getting my first REAL byline. Look out for me, I'm doing big things. And now I'm cowering in the flamboyant wizard angst corner of doom (fluffy has an emo cave, I have a wizard angst corner because of my dragon calendar. and it's flamboyant because it's pink.) and watching Keeping up with the Kardashians. Clearly Kanye was deluded when he described the good life. I've got it instead.