Wednesday, September 2, 2009

i've been looking so long at these pictures of you...

There's a reason why that whole 'boy meets girl, boy falls in love with girl, boy stands by girl' deal only really pans out in the movies. When things appear to be too good to be true they can't really be that way, if you don't know what it's like to be truly unhappy how can you ever realize what happiness was in the first place? Eventually it's the same story...complications, expectations, life ends up getting in the way.

I walked by our restaurant today. I remember the exact day we found it. It was summer, it was late, it was rainy, we were starving. We found the rundown pseudo diner and we somehow ended up there almost every other night. Seeing it. Being there almost killed me in ways nobody could really imagine. This city reeks of you, ever street, every corner, every store has a memory. I keep hoping that somehow I'll wake up from this horrible existence, this living nightmare that's become my reality. That someone will shake me to the point of realization---but maybe coming to terms with the truth is the last thing I need.

I wish I could write you a letter I know you'd never really read. Say everything I need to without really saying anything all. This nightmare was supposed to be our dream.

But I guess when it comes down to it living this dream is nothing without you.

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